How did we get here…? [Story inside]

How did we get here…? [Story inside] ( u_Sea_Kaleidoscope987 / Sea_Kaleidoscope987 ) It’s a good question, and even harder to answer. Me (Sirius) and my Mistress J are actually high school sweethearts! We’ve been going strong for about 16 years now, and she is now my fiancé. Mistress J is my everything, she’s my best friend in the world. We’ve been together through a lot, and I feel I owe her my life - literally. I was in a bad place when I met MsJ all those years back. I’ve had a troublesome childhood, and adolescence wasn’t better- by far. I started to hang out with the wrong ppl doing wrong stuff and gave the big middle finger to the world. I won’t go in depth on this, but in short she saved me even though she knew I was troubled. She stayed with me ever since, making me a better man(?) every day! We’ve always been passionate in our sex. Maybe even a little rough. But thing is, when we first starter experimenting with bdsm- I was the dominant one using her like a doll however I pleased. We did bondage (shibari), tease and denial, forced orgasm- the whole entry level package.. It felt natural for me to be the dominat due to my personality and line of work. In my normal hours I’m a engineer with a lot of responsibilities in a man’s world. I’m used to be assertive, strict and straight forward- so this just felt natural for me. BUT… that’s the thing right there. My job fucking exhausts me, and at home I don’t want to be boss. I want to be taken care of, as it’s me that’s always taking care of everybody else. I want to leave that responsibility at the door when I get home, and just be who I am deep down inside my chestickles. I just want to be- does that make sense? 🤷‍♂️ As we progresses with our dynamic over the course of a couple of years I noticed something in MsJ. She looked like she wasn’t content, or eager really to serve me when I wanted. - I’m sure I’m not the only guy making this statement, but I wanted to fuck her every day, multiple times. I excused myself by saying it’s just my nature and that I HAVE to bust a nut or else I’m dying.. 🤣🤣🤞You never heard that one before, have you? 🤣😘 But anyways I love this woman and I don’t want her to do something she’s not enjoying.. This was the entry to role reversals as we see it today. We’ve always experimented with buttplugs during sex, she used to finger me when we went on hiking and tent trips to the mountains even, but now she’s packing her strap on dildos and lots of lube in addition. I’m also an amateur photographer with a home studio- so we made a lot of content showing her greatest assets. Our goal with the photography was to portray her sexy figure and alluring outfits. But also show her how fucking great she looks, and that she’s able to turn on completely strangers. We had so much fun sharing her photos over various platforms, and if you look closely you might recognise her outfits😉 Things have evolved lately, and it’s not so long since I asked her if I could cross dress… man was this scary AF! I’ve always envied women’s clothing! They look so nice, they are so SOFT and practical. Why the F should this be for women only, leaving men with uncomfortable, unpractical and overpriced clothes..? The same time I feel an urge to let my inner femme out, be allowed to like girly stuff, to watch makeup shows with her, discussing everything she once deemed as “girl chat” this not letting me in on the deets- kinda hurt. Just because my pp is outward I was excluded from so many pretty things, and good conversations… I want to wear dresses because they make me feel powerful, beautiful and sexy! I want to feel sheer, satin and all the good stuff directly on my skin- and so I am today. MsJ was not convinced and tbh I was really afraid to ruin her view on me. Would she loose respect over me, and frown upon my fantasies and ideas? Would she chuckhold me now and be a hot wife (not a kink for me), would she leave me? A thousand thoughts raced through my head over and over, thus gluing my mouth shut and just continued to be unhappy for some time. I did not want to risk it all for a fetishis I have. I thought if she’s not into it, I have to hide whilst doing it… I’m so Fucking Lucky!! Words can’t even describe what power there is in proper communication! We had a bottle, or two of whine one Friday and we just kicked back and had a calm conversation about this. After me setting her mind to ease that I’m not turning gay/bi or even leaving her. One of her worries was that if she went along with this that I’ll never want to fuck her again. She was really just uncertain and by lack of knowledge she assumed what would happen. We regularly watch Ru Paul’s Drag race (amazing show btw) and one of her concerns was that I would turn drag. I calmly explained that I just wanted to feel sexy, I just want to wear women’s clothes in the confinement of our own home. I wanted to be my feminine girly self and I want to totally relinquish my sexuality and orgasm to her. I wanted to build her confidence in being a domme, so she could apply these skills irl- vanilla that is. I wanted her to be/feel powerful, assertive, and in control in every situation she encounters. I want her to feel as dominant and secure as she is with me. By giving her my orgasm and sexuality she doesn’t have to put up with my moodiness when I don’t get some. She decides, she controls me. And it’s so much better this way. I focus primarily on her well-being and never bring up sex to her. In return she feels more relaxed and at ease knowing she controls the situation totally. What I’ve experienced is that I’m getting more attention now, than I ever did before. It just shows the power of communication, don’t be like me worrying about the what ifs… take the leap and if your SO is the right one - they’ll understand and nurture you like MsJ does for me❤️ she’s now encouraging my xdressing- she’s even expect me to dress up for her. She showers me with compliments and tells me how sweet, sexy, adorable and fuckable I am to her… ❤️ I think I’ve woken something in MsJ, and I fuckin love it😍❤️ -Sirius how,did,get,here,story,inside,how did get,here story inside